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Writer Notes
a poem about how i feel when we take love for granted.
Related Work
Listen to the Reader
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By: DasmeerShow Comment
Pace yourself, kid. Get a few things under your belt before you go looking for a wife! (you'll be sorry!) hahahaha
love
By: McPimpy
Love is supposed to be an eternal bond
but we can never get it right
we go far and beyond
but cant get through the night
we see a girl we might like
so we try our luck
we get shot down like a pike
and we just sit there stuck
so we mope in our self pity
instead of going on with life
when it comes down to the nitty-gritty
all we want is a nice wife
we go through life wanting a simple pleasure
but in reality life has other plans
some of us try to find our priceless treasure
so we can put it in our own hands
life is unpredictable
go through it without a hitch
or take the wrong turn
and hit a huge ditch
Comments
judy_ann
Keep working at it. Your voice and experience is young as we all were once, so it's all to familiar. Im grateful of the fact that you want so much more for yourself. Hold on to that it will serve you well in the future. Looking forward to seeing you grow in your writings.
- November 2, 2014
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Will
This suggests the pain of the frustrated young man. Truth be told, it also suggests the pain of the frustrated old man. Good poem.
- November 3, 2014
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Dasmeer
Pace yourself, kid. Get a few things under your belt before you go looking for a wife! (you'll be sorry!) hahahaha
- November 3, 2014
- ·
Poll Results
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Is It Interesting? 3 Vote(s)
70%
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Are the sentences smooth? 3 Vote(s)
80%
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Is the narrative voice appropriate? 3 Vote(s)
76.6666666667%
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Are the word choices good? 3 Vote(s)
73.3333333333%
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Is the dialogue believable (if any)? 3 Vote(s)
33.3333333333%
Founded by Steve & Judy
This suggests the pain of the frustrated young man. Truth be told, it also suggests the pain of the frustrated old man. Good poem.