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Writer Notes
a poem on how i see the world read and critique.
Related Work
Listen to the Reader
The World
By: McPimpy
the world is filled with alot of stuff
some of it good
some of it bad
the good stuff can be quite numerous
but the bad out weighs it
you can feel good at times
but then go into a slump
im tired of this world
and everything in it
if it wants to keep on turning
the people need to start learning
that its not enough to keep the money flowing
but you need a little slowing
if we dont start learning
then the mistakes will keep on returning
if it goes on too long we will never get out of this rut
where the people keep on faulting
and the world keeps on falling
but it is still not enough
what this world really needs is a fresh start
where there was no humans
just nothing but green
where nothing intervened
what this world needs is a true apocalypse
no more humans
no more sorrow
no more anger
just nothing but nature
and nothing but the world
hopefully then and only then
will we finally learn from our mistakes
Comments
Will
This is an incredibly depressing beginning. But I like that you provide a solution. It felt good when you talked about no more humans . . . and nature taking back over. Yes, that felt good.
- November 3, 2014
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Poll Results
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Is It Interesting? 1 Vote(s)
90%
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Are the sentences smooth? 1 Vote(s)
80%
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Is the narrative voice appropriate? 1 Vote(s)
80%
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Are the word choices good? 1 Vote(s)
80%
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Is the dialogue believable (if any)? 1 Vote(s)
10%
Founded by Steve & Judy
This is an incredibly depressing beginning. But I like that you provide a solution. It felt good when you talked about no more humans . . . and nature taking back over. Yes, that felt good.